How to Attract Clients Without Being Salesy (Or Loud)
Early in my coaching journey, I gave away 100+ hours of free coaching.
I know. A great business move huh? But that’s what this blog post is about, showing my mistakes so you don’t have to.
On every single call, I solved their problems, showed them exactly what to do and gave them strategies and answers. And not one person became a client.
Want to know why? It was because I was so terrified of being "salesy" that I gave everything away for free, hoping they'd like me enough to hire me without me having to ask.
But spoiler alert: that's not how it works.
But here’s the thing…
I wasn't wrong to hate the aggressive, loud, pushy approach to client attraction. The "10X YOUR BUSINESS" energy. The fake urgency. The performance.
That stuff doesn't work for people like us. The quietly confident. The authentic. The ones who'd rather build trust than manufacture hype. The mistake I was making wasn't avoiding the loud approach but thinking that the only alternative was to hide completely.
What i discovered through my own experiments, was that there’s a third option, and it's one that actually works.
The Problem With "Just Be More Visible"
Every marketing guru will tell you that you need to be more visible. To post more, show up more, be everywhere, get loud and get attention. For some people, that works beautifully and suits who they are, but for those of us who are naturally quiet, naturally introverted, and naturally averse to performance, it’s advice that feels like torture. Torture that we try to force ourselves into it. We post things that don't sound like us. We create content that feels performative. We show up in ways that drain us, and guess what, it doesn't work.
Not because we're doing it wrong, but because we're trying to attract clients using a method that fundamentally doesn't align with who we are. And that is the key. You can't build sustainable client attraction on a foundation of pretending to be someone you’re not.
What Actually Works (And Why)
What I've learned after years of trying every approach, burning out repeatedly, and finally figuring out what works for quiet, authentic founders is that:
You don't need to be loud. You need to be clear.
You don't need to be everywhere. You need to be where it matters.
You don't need to perform. You need to be present.
But what does that look like in practice? Let me break down what this actually looks like in practice.
What Actually Works: Five Different Approaches
After 100+ hours of giving away free coaching and getting zero clients, I started paying attention to what actually works. Not the loud approach. Not the hiding approach. Something in between.
Here are five approaches I've observed, both in my own journey and in watching other founders navigate this, and the difference between doing them the loud way vs. the quiet way.
Approach 1: Making Observations About Your Ideal Client
The loud way: "Are you TIRED of not getting RESULTS? Do you feel STUCK? Click here NOW!"
This is generic, shouty, and if you’re anything like me, it makes you want to scroll past.
The quiet way: Make a specific, accurate observation about your ideal client's reality that makes them think "wait, how do you know that about me?"
For example, instead of "struggling with your brand?" you might say: "You've rewritten your About page 47 times and it still doesn't feel right. Not because you're a bad writer. Because you're trying to sound 'professional' instead of sounding like yourself."
One way is shouting at everyone. The other way is speaking directly to someone specific. The difference is that the quiet approach makes people feel seen, not sold to.
Approach 2: Talking About Your Offer
The loud way: "Book a FREE discovery call! NO OBLIGATION! LIMITED SPOTS! ACT NOW!"
Translation: "Please, please hire me, I'm desperate and will give you everything for free just to get you on a call."
The quiet way: Be clear and honest about what you're offering and who it's for.
For example: "I have 2 coaching spots available in November. They're for founders who are done trying to figure this out alone and are ready for someone in their corner while they actually implement. Not for people who want free advice. For people ready to commit to the work. If that's you, let's talk."
One is begging. The other is being selective. The loud approach attracts tire-kickers. The quiet approach attracts people who are actually ready. And remember, fewer people might reach out with the quiet approach, but the ones who do are the ones you actually want to work with.
Approach 3: Reaching Out Directly
The loud way: Send the same templated pitch to 500 people: "Hi! I help businesses SCALE! Want to 10X your revenue? Book a call!"
Result: Spam. Delete. Block.
The quiet way: Reach out to specific people for specific reasons.
For example: "Hi [Name], I noticed you commented on my post about [topic]. Seems like this really resonates with where you are? I work with founders navigating exactly this. If you'd ever want to talk through what you're dealing with, happy to jump on a call. If not, hope you're doing well anyway."
One is spray-and-pray. The other is targeted and thoughtful.
The difference is that the quiet approach gives them a legitimate reason you're reaching out, makes it clear what you do, and gives them an easy out. That's not pushy. That's respectful.
And here's what I've learned the hard way: you can send 10 thoughtful messages and get 3-4 real responses, or you can send 100 templated pitches and get ignored. The quiet way takes less time and gets better results.
Approach 4: Naming Patterns vs. Giving Tips
The loud way: "5 HACKS to FIX your time management! Number 3 will BLOW YOUR MIND!"
Clickbait. Tactical. Forgettable.
The quiet way: Name the real pattern underneath the surface problem.
For example, instead of "5 time management tips," you might say: "You're not bad at time management. You're saying yes to things you should be saying no to. That's not a productivity problem. That's a boundary problem. And no amount of calendar optimization will fix it."
One gives them tips they'll forget tomorrow. The other makes them recognise themselves and want to talk to someone who actually understands what's going on.
The difference between the two? Tips are useful. Pattern-naming is powerful.
When you name the real issue underneath, people think "finally, someone who gets it" - not "oh, another listicle."
Approach 5: Talking About Transformation vs. Services
The loud way: "I'm a business coach! I offer 1:1 coaching, group programs, and VIP days! Book now!"
Who cares? That tells me nothing about whether you can help me.
The quiet way: Describe the before/after. The transformation, not the transaction.
For example: "I work with founders who've built businesses that feel like cages. We don't just tweak your strategy. We figure out why you built the cage in the first place and how to dismantle it. That's the work. If that sounds like what you need, let's talk."
One is a list of services. The other is a description of transformation.
The difference? People don't buy coaching sessions. They buy the version of themselves they want to become.
When you describe the transformation, the right people recognize themselves in the "before" and want the "after." That's not pitching. That's clarity.
What All These Experiments Have in Common
None of them require you to:
Be loud
Be everywhere
Perform
Pretend to be someone you're not
Use aggressive tactics
Create false urgency
They all require you to:
Be clear about what you do
Be specific about who it's for
Be honest about your offers
Be present with the people you're talking to
Be willing to name what's really going on
That's not being salesy. That's being useful.
The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything
What I’ve learnt (the hard way) so you don’t have to is that being clear about what you offer and who it's for isn't pushy. It's respectful. When you hide what you do or apologise for mentioning it, you're making potential clients work harder to figure out if you can help them.
When you're direct - "I work with X people on Y problem, if that's you, it would be great to have a chat", you're making it easy for the right people to raise their hand and easy for the wrong people to self-select out.
Clarity isn't aggressive. Vagueness is. Because vagueness wastes everyone's time.
Try each of the approaches above. Treat them as mini experiments. See what feels aligned. see what gets response and adjust from there.
What Happened When I Finally Got This Right
Remember those 100+ hours of free coaching that got me zero clients? Once I stopped hiding and started being clear, everything changed. I posted about the work I actually do (not vague "business coaching" but specific transformation). I reached out to people with clear, honest messages about what I noticed and whether I could help. I stopped apologising for mentioning my services, and within 6 weeks: 3 clients signed.
Not because I got louder. Because I got clearer.
Not because I became someone else. Because I stopped hiding who I actually am.
And that's the whole point:
You don't need to be louder to attract clients. You need to be more yourself.
The right clients aren't looking for performance. They're looking for someone who gets them. Someone who understands their situation. Someone who can actually help.
If you're that person, and you are, then your job isn't to shout louder than everyone else.
Your job is to make it easy for the right people to find you.
And that starts with being clear, being specific, and being willing to say: this is what I do, this is who it's for, if that's you, let's chat.
That's not salesy. That's just honest.
About the Author: Becky Benfield-Humberstone works with quietly ambitious founders who are done with loud, performative marketing and ready to attract clients in a way that actually feels like them. Based in the UK and working globally via Zoom, she specializes in helping introverted and authentic entrepreneurs build sustainable client attraction without burning out or pretending to be someone they're not.
Ready to figure out your version of quiet client attraction? Book a clarity call to explore what works for you specifically
